Despite these two disabilities I decided to further reduce my chances with the ladies by becoming a fridge engineer.

Imagine the scene...

...there I was a fresh faced 18 year old with stupid hair and a horrid pair of silver flecked trousers propping up the bar.

A gorgeous girl in a bat wing jumper and ankle warmers comes over and talks to me...(unlikely I know but bear with me here).

She asks me what I do and I say I am a fridge engineer. She leaves and I... go home alone.

Now I could have lied and said I was a vet, so why did I stay true to my industry?

The answer is I told them all I was in aircon, as I've always been proud of my trade and proud to be an engineer. I like air conditioning.

However today I have made the decision that should I ever find myself in this position again I have to lie. Why you ask?

While reading a magazine I discovered one 'product of the year' was essentially a white shed with pipes coming out. Even I, the geek of geeks failed to find this exciting. As I read in shock I discovered today was the day aircon became boring.

I'm sure that in this shed lurks something impressive but I failed to work out what it is. I'm no marketer, but I bet no one who wants to buy a shed reaches out for a trade magazine and if they did why on earth would they go for white?

Let's try to make it exciting - tell us what's in the shed?

I know that condensing units and fan motors are not the most exhilarating of items to most people but there must be something in there that promises to set the pulses of the average engineer racing.